Are you tired of being hung like Secretariat? Looking for something a little less? Tired of the loud moans and screams interrupting your concentration during lovemaking?

We, at SmallPenis.com, are now offering, for the low, low price of $19.95, a minor surgical procedure that will reduce your penis size to that of an average Japanese man!

Women are right! SIZE DOESN'T MATTER! You'll now wear a Speedo with confidence! Your pants can be tailored in half the time! You'll be able to stand up completely straight during your first early morning urination! E-mail us now and you will receive FOR FREE, a box of custom-sized condoms specially made for your new gnat-like appearance!